Yesterday evening we had the first of our evening themes on Meditation – Experiment and Experience. I was a bit nervous in the beginning: It took some time until the beamer was set up and the room well prepared. By an by people came in, at the end we were all together 17 persons filling the small room: members of our group, friends of friends, a colleague, and one person who came via the newspaper advertisement.

When starting to talk, slowly the inner tension dissolved and after a while the words came more like a flow. Using the powerpoint presentation was a good help, though I think next time I will go more to free speech. It was a bit dense: My wife commented afterwards: “You have done a concentrate of a concentrate, it can be a bit less dense. But one could feel that it is a result of long years of pondering, and it was genuinely you.”
The input took 45 minutes. Then, after a little pause, my wife continued with a guided meditation, so that people could experience what had been said before. A deep silence and relaxation entered the room, from far only the noise from the restaurant above resounded. I hadn’t heard my wife do this kind of guided meditation before. It was inspiring, for it gave a step-by-step intro, good for the new-comers.

Afterwards she asked each one, if he or she would like to say a bit about their experience. Some just drowsed away, some experienced relaxation, some a deep silence. One person couldn’t relax due to a cold. So we had a bunch of experiences, reflecting the individual dispositions.
Some points could be cleared: We don’t try to stop our thoughts, yes, it’s ok to sleep, for afterwards you feel refreshed. And don’t try to keep an uncomfortable position… It seemed to me that on the face of a lady a question mark of scepticism, which before meditation was very visible, had dissolved a bit. The face had relaxed and showed a tinge of a smile…

The time was quickly over: People expressed their thanks and slowly left. When clearing the room I thought of the energy expressing through the group. There was a certain coherence, which was carried through by the whole group. It was a beautiful presence, and I felt, it was a gift from higher circles.

An inner experience can be the start for a new direction on one’s path.

Today a friend of us, a young student and daughter of a long-time friend, came for a visit. Some weeks ago she started her studies at the university, and one of her subjects is philosophy. In the 70ies and 80ies I had studied philosophy for about 10 years. I stopped reading  philosophy books after my high school teacher graduation 21 years ago, and a head reeling from theories. I felt much more attracted to practical spirituality than to mental concepts, though an inquisitive nature and a joy with words have remained.

A big box with philosophical books had been slumbering over the years  in the basement. My friend was happy to take a number of books, which might help her in her studies, and I was happy that finally there was somebody to whom they could be of help. I felt relieved. Taking the books into my hands, images of old came up – battles of ideas, searches for meaning, discussions, irritations. Giving the books away was like freeing blocked energies in the “basement” of my mind and putting them into a flow.

Waterfall at the Beatus-Caves, Bernese Alps

A bit over a month ago, at a seminar in Montserrat, our spiritual teacher, Dr. K. P. Kumar, made to me the proposal to start going out and to speak to interested people about the wisdom teachings, about meditation or other topics.

In the meantime I pondered on it, also in our local group. The impulse worked out to the idea of a series of 4 evening themes on “Meditation – Experiment and Experience”. The title was the outcome of a group discussion.

We then looked around and found a nice seminar room in a nearby hotel. Next was to prepare the announcements, then to structure the content and put it into a good form. Luckily over the years quite a number of topics had been dealt with in our monthly publications of the Good Will newsletters. I had collected photos, also from friend, which I use for illustrating spiritual subjects. So I prepared a number of powerpoint slides on different subjects such as the relation between soul and personality, dealing with thought, the use of sound. It was for me a fascinating experience, a synthesis of many things I had been occupied with since many years. 30 years ago I had participated in a meditation teacher training course, and then taught meditation for some years, before leaving that movement and stopping speaking about meditation.

Looking back, I feel that it was much too early, with too little experience of my own. In the meantime my understanding has deepened over the years, and I’m now looking forward to next week, where there will be the first evening.

Buddha teaching – Ajanta Caves, India, photo of a friend

Last week the management body of my office decided to introduce MS-Sharepoint for our intranet and document management, and I’ll be in charge of the project management. It had been quite a way until this decision came about, and I breathed a sigh of relief, for our old system is a bit run-down… As soon as the contract documents with the agency who will do the implementation is signed, the project can start, and it will keep me busy for the next months.

The contract documents… There was a draft of the agency, but our internal lawyer didn’t agree with it: He just wrote another draft, with some specifications I added: “He who pays the piper calls the tune” he said, “I’m sure they’ll agree if they want to have the job.” Now it’s their turn. A power play shaping the conditions of the relation.

In business it is quite normal that when you want something you start exerting power in a direct or indirect way. Often you don’t recognize it, and it’s very common. In spirituality you learn not to exert personal power, but let things evolve, recognizing the trend of the plan or time and acting along that line. Personal power normally creates polarities, integration or synthesis requires inclusion of opposite viewpoints. Whether an act is to be a confrontation or a clearance depends on the underlying motives. You might like to read a bit more about the Power of Motives.

E-waste, the flip-side of our progress

During our talk yesterday with our spiritual teacher, Dr. K. P. Kumar, we touched the point of two persons living from teaching spirituality and/or astrology. He was laughing when I mentioned a friend just told me that one of the persons is even offering to give initiations: “He has a strong Mercury, so he has a good sense of business…”

I know from Sri Kumar’s teachings and from previous talks with him that he strongly advises not to live on teaching wisdom, but to have a normal job in society. He says: “The Masters of Wisdom give the wisdom for free, they do not claim it for themselves, because it belongs to all. It is very grave if you earn money with conveying wisdom.” (See: Good Will in Action 11, Giving and Taking) Today people everywhere only think of earning money, and even in esoteric circles they take the knowledge given by the Masters, add their own language, and give it as their own thing.

This is the case of the other person. Sri Kumar remarked: “Teaching is somehow a life-insurance for her. What would happen to her if the people run away…” So she is clinging to them, not letting them free. It is a subtle way of controlling the people.

Of course people have their own logic legitimizing what they are doing: “It is my profession, I have to live from something, it is a job like any other… I need all my time to do good work, so this is my job…” But logic doesn’t change the spiritual principles. It is interesting to observe that by trying to do so they create subtle clouds of confusion and barriers for their progress. Sooner or later they will have to clear them away.

My wife said: “When there is a commercial motive involved, I feel myself regarded as a customer bringing money, but not as a soul, as I AM. I become a supplier of work or attention, a follower, being used for someone’s purposes.” It is a purpose foreign to me. In spirituality we want to experience the soul and be touched as souls and not as something else. Normally we come to know this difference only when we have experienced someone, who sees us as a soul and behaves with us as a soul, a genuine teacher This is touching you deep from within.

Madonnas in Montserrat: Commercialized spirituality

Yesterday afternoon we went to Einsiedeln. Our spiritual teacher, Dr. K. P. Kumar, who just returned from a 6 weeks’ tour to Spain and the Caribbean, had invited my wife and me to come over for an evening. We had a long talk, going from the present political situation between the super-powers, Burma and India, to a number of private questions and general points of spirituality. As usual, it was very uplifting.

We discussed the plan of our local group to organise a few meetings about meditation and everyday life. He suggested that we also explain to the people the meaning of the circle with the cross (which you see at the top of our blog):

It is one of the ancient-most signs representing the totality of life. The 4 arms of the cross are symbolic for the four stages of expression of life: as existence, awareness, thought and action. We know the dimension of action very well. All the day we are acting. And we fairly well know the dimension of thoughts, for they are guiding our actions. As per the other two dimensions we normally don’t know, but we get into them through meditation. The experience of pure existence is called Samadhi in the East. Normally we experience existence without awareness: When we awake in the morning we know that we have existed during the night, but without conscious experience. Pure awareness is also normally not known to us, because one thought after the other passes through our mind.

I asked him why it is so difficult for people here in the West to approach spiritual concepts, it sometimes gives me a feeling of a burden of heaviness. He said, that here in the West the focus is on the material side and that it is much easier in the East to get into the spiritual dimension: “But the West is needed as well. It is part of the whole.”

We have here a very dense atmosphere, which is difficult to pierce through. But with the help from higher circles we can magnetize it slowly. “The internet is a great facility to connect the searchers dispersed all over the globe.” He then explained how the work with colours – from violet flame to rose, to green, orange, and we can slowly get into more subtle planes. Orange colour helps to clean the mental. Then from colour to sound: “OM is creating a funnel through which subtle energies can manifest.” It needs stable channels for the energies to manifest. For this we work.

After the evening meditation and dinner we went back home. He, his wife and an Indian friend who had accompanied them left today, back to India.

Piercing through the clouds: Durga-Mountains, Nilagiris, India

Some days ago a web-acquaintance wrote to me asking about a website on “The Real Jesus”. The link he sent brought a site of a domain grabber, but with Google I later found the “real” site. My friend wrote: “The channelled stuff from Jesus and other ‘ascended masters’ is quite fascinating. If you have the time, please browse their pages. I would like to know your opinion on this.”

I answered him that without looking into the site, the hints he had written gave me the impression of another illusionary cloud: “A person boasting to channel ‘the real Jesus’… Channeling by itself demands a high purity. Many claim high contacts, and you aren’t able to check the claim. Look at the good work to humanity, not any lofty words and see the fruits in transformation of character, and then judge by the fruits of the work / transformation and not the words. This might give you a guideline when you come across glittering gold, to distinguish it from genuine gold. Normally when you look at the seed, you will know how the tree will unfold. And there is the original sun, reflecting on the moon, which again is reflecting on the water and that light then on the eye, giving us the impression of direct spiritual light when not knowing that it is a reflection’s reflection’s reflection…”

My friend answered: “My point is: the moment one partakes in a movement which is guided ‘behind the curtains’ by Masters -ascended or not- which are not part of the everyday world, a lot of contrary information springs forth. One can see it with the masters made popular by the theosophists, one can see this phenomenon with Babaji… (He gave a few encounters with people of different movements) They all believe their ‘truths’ on the authority of someone else. And that ‘someone else’ is a special messenger/disciple from one of the masters or from the Christ himself. For me, all this is fascinating and I appreciate very much the wisdom coming from your tradition and masters. But for my peace of mind, I could never wholeheartedly follow such a system. Doubts would always be there…”

I replied to him: “There are of course many ways, and people may enjoy what they like to enjoy and to belief being right. Creation is manifold, and also the ways. There is no need that you follow my way, if you don’t feel well with it.”

When I later had a glance through the “Jesus”-site, I found there many teachings on different topics, but nothing about the importance of service and good will activities for practical spirituality (see our Good Will in Action on The Value of Service). There were more questions remaining besides a feeling of vagueness.

In earlier discussions my friend had written that he doesn’t want to limit himself to a teaching but to stay open to all kinds of teachings. I had answered him that in order to go into a greater depth that according to my experience it is necessary to develop discrimination and an understanding of guiding principles. A mixture is not synthesis, and openness doesn’t come into the way of clearing one’s understanding. It is not a matter of just following a tradition of teachings or Masters, for this will keep you as blind as before, if you don’t develop discrimination and deepen your understanding by putting something you have understood into practice.

Mask with gold ornaments, Museum of Delphi, Greece

We yesterday had a visit of a friend. Part of our talk was about the way to deal with rules and rigidity on the spiritual path.

For years my wife and I had been involved with a group where we followed quite strict rules. There was the feeling that if you don’t stick to them you will lose the path to the light and get lost in the wilderness. This was coupled with a feeling of fear and guilt – and some more subtle psychological catches. We finally revolted against it, left the group, transformed concepts – and felt well. We got guidance in this, which helped us a lot.

My friend, too, had observed these mechanisms with different friends and groups where she had been involved in. It seems that these patterns are quite common:
You are striving to lead a good live, and you develop concepts about what this is all about. Others also tell you what should be done and you adopt to what you hear, especially from people of whom you think that they are wiser than you are. And you adopt things which you take over without discrimination, or what is worse, with a logic explaining why you should follow this way.
You think, this will lead you to enlightenment, to salvation or whatever you think being the goal of your journey. And you follow – follow like a sheep, not knowing or seeing better.

There will be no harm if the one whom you follow is a real guide, knowing the path and its whereabouts – but mostly he, and you, just imagine it. You get caught in a loop. A prison of your own concepts and convictions.
My wife compared it with Luther revolting against the Catholic church, which was deciding about sin , forgiveness and salvation, this resulting in the reformation. The wisdom teachings say, there is no sin, just ignorance and the results of your acts out of not knowing better.

People can be very “piously” follow their concepts to the point of torturing themselves. There are parallels to anorexia, where individuals afflicted by it think of polluting themselves by eating. The self-destructive tendencies become obsessions very difficult to overcome. These grips you find in many contexts of convictions, especially with religion and spirituality, but also in politics: You think you are following “the right way” – and rigidity is the shadow of your conviction. It has to do with the “Power of Habit“, and here you can read a bit more about it.

Reflections of reality – a Norwegian fjord

Last weekend my wife and I made a short trip to Spain. At Montserrat, a famous monastery located about 50 km from Barcelona, our spiritual teacher, Dr. K. P. Kumar, was giving a seminar on “Service – The Path to Wisdom”. A friend from the Spanish WTT-group picked us up at the airport and drove us all the way up the mounting with its peculiar rock formations. The monastery is a magnetic spot, many visitors – pilgrims and tourists – flock to it to see the Black Madonna with the child. We also paid them a visit before the start of the seminar.

Friday evening the seminar started with the evening meditation followed by an introductory talk by Sri Kumar. Saturday and Sunday morning there were further talks, and Saturday and Sunday afternoon presentations of service activities of the groups. In between we had exchanges with friends and a little excursion on top of the Montserrat mountains. A highlight was the Sunday morning fire ritual. Here are some thoughts from the lectures:

“It is impossible to escape from service. You find it even with minerals, plants or animals, and also with the higher deva kingdoms. When the service is done with goodwill, it helps cleaning the mind and purifying the heart. So the intention to dedicate one’s activities to the well-being of the surrounding life is the basis for all growth. There is no end to service, the will to serve is therefore most important, so that service becomes a ways of life. In this we should not look for recognition and recompense, but to see how we can serve better in a humble way.

You can do service on many different levels, not only physical, emotional or mental, but also from higher planes. In the process of serving you come to forget your own needs, and nature starts taking care of you. Service gives a value to life, otherwise it has no value. Selfish service can be disguised as selfless service, if the motive is wrong. If you give preference to service economics also grow with the time.

Many have not time for service, because their daily life is full of non-essentials. They think they are already doing much, but it is wasting time. We have to distinguish between essential and non-essential activities. Don’t engage in activities which are not useful for others.

Many think they are doing the activities like business for themselves, but the truth is, they are doing it for others. They have to satisfy customers, employees, pay taxes, insurance, machines, materials, the cost for the rooms, electricity. From the remains of the money you pay for clothes, shoes, food. Even the food is not for us: The tongue takes it and gives it to the stomach, from there it goes to the intestines. It has to be passed on. If you see it or not, all is for others. What remains for us is the experience. If you don’t have the sickness of looking for you, you are healthy. When you think only of yourself and hot of others, you get bound by your actions, but even then you are doing it for others.When you reorient to service, you will get fulfilled.

Don’t see service only as small acts we do. A good idea helps many people, it can be all kinds of activities, making music, writing, working. All is service when you think of the people who benefit through your work.”

Saturday after the morning meditation Sri Kumar invited me to come with him for a little walk. He spoke a bit about the lectures he had given in Toledo and Madrid. Then he made some proposals for our local group of the Circle of Good Will, that it would be good starting to go out and to speak to interested people about the teachings, about meditation or other topics which the people might be interested in. We haven’t done so until now: If we done this before. He gave several inspiring suggestions, and now we are thinking of how to put them into practice.

You might like to read the Good Will in Action on “The Value of Service“.

Two pictures from last Saturday’s morning walk with Sri Kumar at Montserrat

In the last blog on Mood Infections I wrote about some experiences with clouds of moods coming, where you might be receptive to an energy wave, which isn’t originating from you. A friend sent us the following reply:

“I was amazed to read about both your experiences, because I had a similar one this past weekend! On Tuesday last week, my aunt left her physical vehicle for this time, and I was trying to cope with my feelings of guilt for not being around my family during times that I know for them to be difficult. It took me a couple of days to find my inner balance again, yet even after being back to a more grounded state I was still quite open and vulnerable. More so than I was aware of:

On Sunday, I met with my ex-boyfriend for supper and a chat. Because of past experiences, I usually meet him with my guards up so not to be affected by his energies. The meeting was fairly pleasant, except for a few comments he made.

When I came home, I had a heavy headache and my sinuses were stuffed as if I’d developed a full-blown sinus infection within the past three hours. On Monday morning, I could barely get out of bed because my lower back was aching so much. On Tuesday, I still wasn’t my full self. I was lacking in energy and felt overall very weak. However, by then I had realized what had happened. My ex-friend had intuitively picked up on my openness, and clawed his hooks into me just like he had done for many years during our relationship. And just like back then, he was sucking energy from me again. The moment I realized it, I cut the energetic connection off and I felt better immediately. But when I started to develop a pain in my left shoulder that sent shooting nerve pains into my jaw, I knew I needed outside help because that was his symptoms. For years and years, he’s been having those problems with muscle tensions in his left shoulder that affected the nerves that run up to the jaw line.
he has a constant toothache in his left back teeth. Now I had that too!

I called a friend of mine, who is a wonderful Reiki master and massage therapist with a lot of experience in energy work. She worked my back for over an hour. It took some work and meditating together until I was in tune again and felt like myself again. I guess I could have accomplished that myself, but I had only half a day until the semester started and I really wanted to be on top of things for that. I recall that Torkom Saraydarian calls this negative psychic energy that builds up through negative thought forms and actions, Imperil.”

In the book on “Agni Yoga” (§ 15) you read about imperil:
“Imperil, which attracts danger, is the poison resulting from irritability. This poison, a quite substantial one, is deposited against the walls of the nerve channels and then spreads through the entire organism.
If modern science would try to examine objectively the nerve channels, giving heed to the astral currents, it would encounter a strange decomposition of the astral substance during the passage of that substance through the nerve channels—this is a reaction to imperil. Only rest can help the nervous system to overcome the dangerous enemy that can call forth the most diverse irritations and painful contractions of the organism.
He who is afflicted with imperil must repeat, “How beautiful everything is!” And he will be right; because the flow of evolution follows immutable law, it is beautiful. The more refined the nervous system, the more painful is the deposit of imperil. This same poison, by the addition of one ingredient, may contribute to the decomposition of matter.”

Water and lightfall in the Himalayas, photo of a friend