I recently had a phone call with a friend in the course of which she told me she would never again join a spiritual group. The experiences she had with a group and its teacher 2-3 decades ago had marked her for her whole life. And another one lately told me: “I no longer recognize myself in the group where I was (of an Indian teacher) and so I left it.” She added, “For my spiritual quest, I have always been fascinated and attracted by the Masters, and the WTT is a beautiful synthesis.”

From my own experiences in various spiritual groups and contexts I know how delicate it can be to associate with a group and a teacher. In public here in the West, it is mostly disparaged as Guru cult. And when you come in closer contact with a group you unavoidably also meet shadow aspects – be it of the teacher or the group. You can call the shadow the personality. And what makes the thing even more tricky is that we mostly have blind spots towards our own shadows and like to project them on others.

Spiritual groups and teachers are no exception to this. I very well understand people who want to keep aloof from getting into such situations.

However, when you are fairly well grounded in yourself, you can take it as an excellent field of training – how to evolve if you don’t work on yourself and on developing friendly relations with others? For me, the obstacles were a challenge to get more committed.

In my life, I came to know a number of spiritual teachers directly and a few more by way of books. It was an odyssey and a great way of meeting people with many different attitudes – the devotional type, the sceptic type, the indecisive one, the impractical intellectual, the fervent apologist, and even the spurned love…

For a while, I myself was a mixture of several of these. I learnt much by observing and putting to practice what I learnt. And so I approached my present teacher, Sri Kumar, who more and more became the role model for me. A lot of transformation happened – I would call it an occult process because it mostly went on within, very slowly. Or was it more the outcome of my work with meditation and persevering activities, with others, with groups in various contexts? In a way, I ended up to come to myself, not to the teacher. The teacher, the teachings and the group were instrumental in this. On the other hand, it’s an interrelated thing.

A close friend said to me, “I don’t need a teacher for this. I want to rely on the inner guidance and autonomy – no dependence or pressure of rules.”

I understand and respect and I also feel the same – inner guidance of the soul and putting to practice what I have realised as right – not because of any dependence of pressure of rules.

At the same time, I receive great support by following my teacher and the teachings (and leaving other things behind). They are giving strength and orientation and help me not to get side-tracked and stuck. Joy is the compass in this.

Did you notice? Unbounded space disappeared! It seems to be so inconspicuous that nobody seems to take note of it.

This morning, when I came along the construction site in our neighbourhood, I noticed it again. When the walls are put up, suddenly the sky starts disappearing and the unbounded space seems to condense into a tiny hall called a room.

I very well remember how, as a little boy, I several times run from the garden into my parents’ home and then came out again, and I wondered how it can be that space disappears in the house. And how it feels being inside, cut off from the freedom of vastness.

It is like getting into the mother’s womb. From out of the unlimited space of the subtle dimensions shrinking into the narrowness and confinement of body, with its heaviness. As a child, I had the feeling that I did not really want to come down. And it took me many years to get accustomed to live in such a narrow thing like the body.

Yes, the curtain slowly falls and you get used to it. As you get used to live in a room.

At the beginning, you can still see the larger space. Space…. another word for spirit. Slowly you forget that you are not an island, in a corner of space, but contain in you the great whole.

In the morning, when I walk over the field, looking up to the blue sky where just some clouds block the view, and where on the one side the ring of the horizon is limited by the residential area and on the other by the mountain range of the Alps in the distance, I feel like opening up my subtle bodies which envelop the encased spark of the Sun called I AM.

And when I come back into the street of the settlement, it narrows down again, a kind of crippling. Do the people living here notice it?

But when I go down the stairs into the house where I am living, and then the staircase up to our apartment – although it gets really narrow outside, it feels like having re-connected to the vault of heaven. And that the cosmic vastness is also here.

Morning sun shining on some dahlias from the nearby farmhouse, with the Sripada statue in the background, in my study.

Some changes in the team of collaborators during the last weeks made me ponder upon volunteer work in the context of the wisdom teachings.

It looks and feels like a way through a cloudy jungle to discover the path towards the subtle dimensions of life. Running around in various directions does not help. With the years, I found it necessary to focus on one path and to go into the depth instead.

Digging deep needs endurance and commitment. I slowly realised that I have to help build the road to the “goldmines” of wisdom for others as well. And the deeper you go, the more you see the need of cooperation.

As an outcome, I slowly grew into responsibility for various publications and websites related to wisdom, and I met reliable fellow seekers who cooperate in this endeavour.

It takes time to carve out. And many skills need to be developed to fine-tune and to anchor. Newcomers hardly see what lies behind and if they take a glimpse, they sometimes shrink back. Or they pick up some work for a while but find it hard to keep up with rhythm and continuity.

“Likes” and social media entertainment are easier than carrying some stones for a building. Solid steps need to be firm and well done. But who finds time, who takes time for entering a spiritual apprenticeship? Without quick benefits and recognition?

Good will is not enough to become a reliable team member. And often the qualifications required and the equipment in the rucksack of the seeker do not match immediately. But is sh/he willing to enter and learn, to let go of one’s first ideas? And to keep the inner fire burning unsvervingly so that it does not get extinct at a first blast of wind?

New qualifications and skills need to be developed, trust and endurance. Cooperation and at the same time working in a self-reliant way.

It is nice to do something inspiring, but mostly it is seen just as a hobby, when time and other demands allow. The path, however, calls for a commitment like in a challenging work. You have to see where a task needs to be picked up for the greater plan and how to integrate your stone, and at the same time cooperate with the others like a dear friend.

And what if the friends do not give nice feedbacks and cooperate as you expect them to do? Often you have to wait, more often for years, before a door opens. Before you can step in.

Otherwise, life offers many other priorities – job, family, friends; or chilling, sport, travelling… The list is long, and there are many reasons why not to pick up a lasting commitment.

But what about working for an age-old “enterprise”, working out the path to the light? Spiritual Hierarchy has enormous patience in developing the network of collaborators.

During my morning walks I come along a construction site. Over the last months, I observed how two old houses were demolished, then the foundation pit excavated, walls coming up. First, I just observed; later, I started pondering on what was happening.

Many people are cooperating, material is arranged in a certain way. Slowly a house takes form. Or is part of it a garage? Why are things done in this way? I did not know. But it was obvious that all this was done with a purpose – there was a plan behind.

Later, a picture was hung up on the fence of how the house should look like, with information about the enterprises involved. And still later, there were panels with information about sale contacts. I didn’t want to buy an apartment, I just was an uninvolved observer – or was I not? Observing the whole process gave rise to thoughts about what observing this process did with me.

I started pondering again on what is the plan, the plan of my life, the bigger plan. What is the purpose? Or is there no purpose? Obviously, there is. But then what do I recognise and how do the details of my life, of the bigger life, fit into the purpose? Are the activities in tune with the plan? How am I planning and how am I supervising the progress of construction, in my life, in the activities involved? Where am I craftsman, collaborator? Where am I architect? Am I an executor and what is the direction of executing, what I am doing? What do I perceive of a bigger plan and how do my elaborations fit into it? Personality plans, plans without personal perspective, or with a bigger or lesser…

Like with the house construction I am observing things develop without my knowing the bigger purpose, but certain patterns give hints to understand the bigger plan. I remarked how I have been doing plans which ended up in “ruins of goodwill”. Or were they not ruins but stepping-stones for further working out? There is a masonic story that all bricks are needed for the construction of the temple…

I pondered on how I do my plan of the year – by noting everything in a calendar with ephemerides (positions of planets) at the beginning of a year, to mark things which need attention, and things which rhythmically repeat, like solstice and equinox meetings, journeys intended, ongoing meetings, important constellations. And then, in the course of the year, it is worked out.

It takes time to prepare the year but this helps to be in tune with many details, to notice them in advance. There is communication planning, keeping contact with people by contacting them at their birthdays, a part of networking activities. I noticed that many details get elaborated when you repeat and revise. And this way, subtle aspects of the plan reveal which were unknown or unnoticed before. And especially the monitoring and developing of relationships, team building, transforming conflicts into steps of learning.

There is a planning of the day, with what are the tiny activities which first one might not realise as important but which turn out to be so. The cornerstones of the day, like the cornerstones of the building. And thus, the construction of the days, the weeks, the months, the years slowly take shape, a shape which might be useful for the bigger plan, into which my activities might increasingly fit.

Such planning helps to be in tune with what I perceive as the purpose of my life, of life.

The divine essence is described as being veiled by many envelopes. So it is not so easy for us to perceive it or even realize it. Furthermore, our personal / social / cultural conveniences influence and colour our attitudes, likings and dislikings. And the way how people express their relation to the divine is most varied.

I had to think about my own “coloured glasses” when a few days ago I saw pictures and a video from a ceremony in Pithapuram, India, probably of the celebration for the 700th anniversary of Sripada Srivallabha (see the text at the end of this blogpost, from my communication of the event). I noticed that I have to be careful to see the essence behind the outer pomp.

The words Sri Kumar had spoken after our first visit to Pithapuram in Jaunary 2015 came to my mind: “I hope you have enjoyed the visit to Peetha Puram called Pithapuram. It is a typical center where the light is hidden. As we say, the key note of India is ‘I hide the light’. Pithapuram is one of the most important spiritual centers that we have in India, but it continues to hide the light. It is so humble that unless you get insight, you don’t get the profundity of light. But in due course it unfolds from within. “

My contact with Sripada was in October 2014, through his biography. It was an intense inner experience followed by a long and profound work with the book in silence – translation and editing. It had a deep transforming impact and it is an ongoing experience. I found a similar impact of highest light at certain places where the veil seems to be thinner than elsewhere. You might call it spiritually vibrant places. It is very similar with certain books that also have a strong unveiling impact.

The communication: 2 September 2019: Ganesh Chaturdhi, 700th anniversary of Sripada Srivallabha

From time to time, Lord Dattatreya, the Cosmic Principle of the Teacher, incarnates in a human body to enable the humans to relate to him and get uplifted.

700 years ago, Lord Dattatreya took birth as Sripada Srivallabha. Sripada was born at sunrise on a day of Ganesh Chaturdhi in the year 1320 AD. Ganesh Chaturdhi is a festival in honour of Lord Ganesha celebrated on fourth ascending moon phase in Virgo.
Next Monday, 2 September, is Ganesh Chaturdhi, and thus, according to Indian counting, it is the 700th anniversary of this first incarnation of Dattatreya in the present dark age.

You find here a brief outline of the birth of Sripada (PDF). The text is taken from the WTT website about Lord Dattatreya and his incarnations:
based on the the biography “Sripada Srivallabha Charitamrutam” and on a transcription of the 2016 seminar of Dr. K. Parvathi Kumar on Lord Dattatreya / Sripada. The biography was recently published in English by Kulapati.de, see here how to order / download the book.

In the Eastern tradition, Krishna’s birthday is celebrated during the 8th descending moon phase of Leo, this being today.

I have written a number of blogposts and done various paintings about Krishna. Here is the story of a picture called “The Magic Flute of Krishna” realised seven years ago.

I used a picture of a Krishna statue in my room and did some transformations.

For the background I used a painting of Karl Friedrich Schinkel done for a stage design for Mozart’s opera Magic Flute (1815).

I fused it with a picture I had taken from a magazine 45 years ago – an extract of the Isenheim Altarpiece (1515), Colmar, by the German Renaissance painter Matthias Grünewald showing the emanation of angels from God.

Then I integrated the image of a peacock (bottom left), Krishna’s bird. I put the statue to dark blue; so the image emerged in violet – the right magical colour for Krishna with a “magic flute”.

In “Music of the Soul” and “Man Sacrifice“, Master EK gives the following birth dates according to Eastern Scriptures:
1. Lord Krishna was born in the month of July, 3228 B. C. midnight at Zero hours between the nineteenth and the twentieth.
2. He dropped His physical body on the eighteenth of February, 3102 B.C.
Thus, his birth chart looks like this:

Happy Krishna’s Birthday!

I recently had an e-mail exchange with a good friend and collaborator about handling the pressure of today’s life, balancing the professional and private demands with spiritual practice – and how to avoid getting one’s energy depleted. At the end of this correspondence he suggested, “You might consider sharing these tips in a blogpost. They will be helpful to others as well.” So here are extracts from our exchange.

It started with my friend sending me his proof-reading comments with the remark, “I apologize for the delay in getting back to you…” I know that he has tough times, and so I answered, “The doors of time sometimes don’t allow much passing through.”

He replied, “Your statement regarding the doors of time sometimes not allowing much to pass through is very true for me, at least for the past several months. These days there is lot of working piling up for me — both personally and at work — but not much is getting completed.  I have been praying to improve my capability to handle things better. Any suggestions from your experience would be very beneficial for me.”

I then wrote him the following lines:

30 November 2012: Aries – Birth of a Diamond

“I know only too well these tight times, esp. during my professional years. For many years, I worked just 80% meaning 36 hs/week in my job to be able to care for the family and, more so, spiritual activities.
And now the time is again tight, the last months were. Each year, the rising half of the year, esp. Aries to Cancer, is speeding up.
The most important for me was to maintain the meditation schedule. And I split up my work, working on it rhythmically – meaning, I tried to use any minute available, was doing WTT correspondences / corrections during breaks at my office. I now do correspondences or activities demanding low concentration in side hours and try not to let myself be interrupted with non-essentials (there are many).
I try to prioritize: I can concentrate best for creative work of writing / researching (Lunar Messenger texts etc.) during the morning until noon, and again for a certain time after dinner. When I try to do it in the afternoon, it does not work. When I first do non-essential things, it is much more difficult to get to essential things later than the other way round.
I lose lot of time if there is not the right sequence, meaning when I am tired at a certain level – not much, it blurrs the access to clear thinking. In these times I either do non-prio activities, household activities, or I lay down for a short nap. Master Morya in his Agni Yoga teachings recommends to change regularly the topics with which one is active (instead of resting) to keep the mind freshly interested. Of course, relaxation and some time in nature, be it a park, a river or some green, gives back pranic/psychic energies.
This is most important to me, and if I don’t respect, my condition goes low. For me, about 10 minutes asanas in the morning (since many years, I just have the same sequence) are also most essential to feel well in the body, and thus with a better condition – these things are not time spent but enable to stay better stable.
Another thing is, I try to avoid “energy vampirism”, meaning I close my energy system (double pyramid visualisation for protection) before going into any kinds of mass assemblies (work, supermarkets, transportation); even in the car you are not immune. Keeping the protective aura stable (I had to learn this!) enables keeping the energy level higher. In any case of depletion, washing face (neck), arms and hands (quickly during work at the toilet) cleans away subtle dross. Good aeration is also essential, besides the light food and the spiritual alignment.
These are some thoughts to the topic energy management.”

My friend replied, “Wow! Thank you very much, Ludger for taking time to share all these practical, simple yet profound suggestions. I am doing some of these. I have been doing double pyramid once a day since you told me few years ago on a Skype call. It has been very helpful. I see your point in doing this more frequently than once a day. I will try to bring others into my routine as well.”

I would like to add an extract of my notes from the seminar of Master Kumar in Iguazú, lecture of 22 June 2018, morning. It is about building the protective double pyramid:

“As we attempt to build the personality in the temple there would be many elements which we call rogue elements. They try to obstruct, to destroy, to digress, to distract our pure intention to transform our personality into a temple. There are always forces in nature which are constructive and which are otherwise also. Nature contains varieties of forces. As much as there are beneficial forces there are also other forces which work contrary to self-transformation. They emerge from us on account of the deficiencies and weaknesses we have in us. Our weaknesses one by one get exposed and we start working with our personality; the undesirable, the weaknesses and limitations hidden in us would come up. When we boil the water the impurities emerge and by another boiling they are destroyed.

When we are on a journey to light there are elements of darkness which would like that we are not on the program of transforming ourselves. On the basis of our previous actions, thoughts and speeches they do not let us move forward. Therefore there is a regular ritual suggested to us every morning to build a diamantine temple around us so that there are no more digressive elements from the surroundings or from the past. We did many times prayers for the benefit of supporting the good intentions of the governments; we worked with the Diamantine Network from 2007 to 2014. It can be done by each one of us. We can be protected from within from the forces trying to attack us. Even when we are in the midst of a crisis or an accident, the accident does not have an impact on us. Even while a fire is around the fire does not touch is. We can do the ritual every day in the morning. It is conceived by the ancient most seers: We build a double pyramid of light so that nothing can touch us by way of untoward events. With an accident we even don’t get a scratch on the body. You do not get hurt by an accident, be it on the road, in a plane or a flight. You remain untouched by any element that attacks you. It is a beautiful Vedic ritual and it is done by all the knowers in the East as part of morning prayers.

The methodology is very simple: Stay oriented to the east either in a standing posture or in a sitting posture. Look to the east and visualise that a ray of light is passing from your heart centre towards the east. Then you bow down to the east and the angel of the east and receive the light of the east into your heart. First you project through imagination a ray of light to the east. Then you bow down to the angel of the east and then you imagine that a beam of light is moving to the south. Imagine that a beam of light is emerging from your heart to the south and you bow down to the angel of the south. The energy of the south will come and join you in the heart centre – in sitting posture you may imagine that the light is emerging from your heart and going to the south. In standing posture you can turn to the south. Then from the south the angel is blessing you and joins you in the heart.

Similarly you let an energy of light go to the west, bow down and receive a ray of light from the west into your heart.

Then you see a ray of light going to the north, you bow down and receive the ray of light into the heart.

Then you link up all the four directions. Then there is a square around you. From east to south, south to west, west to north. There is a field of light with beams all around. It is around you, by way of four right angles.

Then imagine that you are moving up vertically and bow down to the angel of that which is above. And then imagine that the energies from above are descending into you. Then connect the four directions to the light from above. It is the headlight. There is a pyramidal lighted dome that builds with your heart as the base. There is a pyramid built over you.

Then imagine that your energies are moving down below, connect all the four directions to what is down below you to your feet. You form another pyramid downwards. You are very much secured in this double pyramid. When this happens you have a lighted shield around you, when you regularly do it during the sunrise hours with the sun-rays. You have a dome upwards and a dome downwards. You are protected from the surroundings and from within and outside. You are at all times saved by this structure: I bow down to the east and the angel thereof, I bow down to the south/west/north and the angel thereof, then to the headlight up, then from below up.

It is regularly done by many people in the east; they chant it in Sanskrit. If you do it we are in the shell of light. The light is of diamantine nature; you are protected by a diamond all around us. This would allow not to fall into temptations all around us, nor the outer temptations can approach and affect you. In this insulated state you can build your temple without impediments.

Normally there would be many impediments or the other, starting from ill-health and personal karma. There would not. While the problems emerge, your practice would not be affected. Not that you would be protected from your karma. Your karma will not come into the way of your practice. Once your karma gets exhausted and slowly you build the temple, the temple becomes a place of service to the surroundings. You have the will to build a lighted temple. The six directions around them, a field of light around them, so that they are insulated within by which their practices are not infected. Even if you have a domestic problem your practice will not be affected. And the temple will be formed and the karma will not touch you. The karma will be exhausted and neutralised.

People say, “I am not very regular with my prayer, with my practices.” A small impediment, worldly influence will bring you off from your practice but the double pyramid will allow you to attend to the worldly duties.

There is a mantra called “let things wait”. This is possible only for those who work with light. Until your work with light is over, the problem would not come. When you have finished your practice you will attend to the purposes which need to be attended immediately.

Shirdi Sai Baba had the habit of living in a dilapidated mosque. He took his residence in that and from there he was doing his work. He had a fireplace in the corner where there burns fire day and night, now since over 140 years. There is another place where he made other preparations. He put his hand into boiling water to cook and serve the people. He did so for about 60 years. For special occasions he invited people from the village, prepared the food himself and served. Once while he was serving people the roof started giving way to fall. The people who took meal got fear and wanted to leave. He said, “The roof won’t fall.” Only few of them stayed there, took food and then he said, “You can go out,” and he also came out and said to the roof, “Now you can fall.”

That is the beauty of this practice, nothing will fall on you. If there is an impending accident, you would be averted of it. There are many such experiences when you work with this mantram. …

This practice will prevent you from falling into problems. You have to have complete faith. Through a small doubt the accidents may enter. … When you do this you are protecting the practice of light which you carry out, it will not be affected. … It is one beautiful practice. You have to do 6 utterances. It can be in English, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Telugu, without language. It is not the language which is important but the thought. Bow down to the east and imagine light entering from the east, then south, west, north, then you move up and down – even in the worst cases nothing will happen to you. The practice is given to those who are willing to build the temple within to be born again into light.”

3 August 2013: Sagittarius – Pre-Dawn Meditation

Today 18 years ago, on 16 May 2000, I passed a threshold in my life. It happened at the beginning of a group life with Sri Kumar at the then Taurus full moon, and it was my active joining the World Teacher Trust. I already wrote about it in two blogpost four years ago, “How I joined the WTT” (WTT: World Teacher Trust), and “Fire and Flame for the Fire Ritual”. I do not want to repeat these memories but I would like to share some facets of the unfoldment which started from that date on and was speeded up ever since.

Step by step, new activities and responsibilities crept into my life. For a long time, I did not realise their inter-relatedness. But looking back, I notice that while the scope and intensity of activities grew new skills developed. New activities build upon existing ones, and the latter always had to be maintained as a basis. For example, when I started publishing a newsletter, the related activity  had to be maintained and incoming new activities had to be integrated.

This way, the activities gradually started spreading into other fields, mainly by writing, structuring, condensing. The growth took partly place in my profession but it was more so in the realm of my volunteer activities for the wisdom teachings. For a long time, the two fields developed in parallel. Later, when I left my job, I focussed intensely on the latter activities.

I don’t want to give a list, but looking back, I see that the inner blessings came following the power of rhythm. I think this is nothing specific with me but of a general relevance. When you pick up an activity of goodwill and follow it with the related attention and continuity, its rhythm generates a magnetism attracting new and similar aspects.

I witness that although I do things with an active commitment, its impact is much better when it is not related to my personality. Things grow by themselves, through me as a doer but not by my feeling as a doer. It might sound strange to some but it contains the “magic trick”. Another, more “magic trick” is to stay aligned with the inner, the divine, to keep contact and follow the rhythm of inner work. Without this, the outer cannot thrive.

A basis topic in what I am doing since many years is: How to reduce complexity and make complex ideas or systems available in an easy manner. I started synthesizing themes of the wisdom teachings already in the 1970s with meditation seminar and in a way it has accompanied me in many forms. But only since I receive the conscious guidance of Sri Kumar, my mental structures became clearer and more fluid. And by following great role models, I got deeply formed, inside out.

Fire is the essence of creation, the cosmic force which ignites the process of manifestation. And we are also sparks of the original fire, descended into forms. We, as souls, are enclosed with sheaths of dense body cells and the tissues of our jackets of karmic textures. We dived into objectivity with coatings like diving suits. What happens when the oxygen supply is getting blocked?

The fire of our vital force dies down and we are suffocating. Many feel like suffocating today. When you are cut off from your origin you lose the awareness of who you really are, of what you have come for. People are running their lives in zombie mode, with their fires nearly extinguished. Many chase after pseudo-fulfilments: The kick of extreme adventures, of body/sport challenges, of careers… They don’t nourish the the soul fire.

However, these are still much better than the hunt for darker satisfactions. And worse is an extinguished fire or a destructive fire of frustration. Societies can also live on dangerous fires of polarisation and splitting, can exhale poisonous gases – in the physical, emotional and mental planes, like lies, manipulations and divisions.

Sagittarius has just started. It can give us the power to uplift the spirits from the morass of stuck life force. Ignite the fire in you for high aspirations. Sublime aspirations, well grounded and effective, are rare. Kindle the fire in you. And with an extra-breeze of prana, the vital force, ignite yourself! Continuously!

28 July is the 12th anniversary of the passing of my mother, 28 July 2005, 11.32h. I normally don’t post much about private things but I would like to make an exception and share with you some thoughts from the talk I gave at the church during the farewell ceremony. She still means a lot to me.

“When I think back in my life, to the very first traces of memory, my mother was already there. After all, it was she, or more precisely, father and mother, who gave us children the bodies. She has guided us into life, taught us the first things and coined our attitudes. Now she has passed on. Her departure touches deeply, provokes emotions, pictures, impressions and thoughts.

For me, a decisive imprint was her deep spirituality that characterized her life. This includes the feeling of being embedded into a larger whole, of being carried by it and of devoting one’s life to it. For Ursula, this meant wanting to give more than to receive. To give without expecting anything, in a silent, modest attitude. For her, giving meant not only to give us children food, to ensure a well functioning household. It meant being there with an inner presence, being interested in the others, taking part in what they were doing, and perceiving where others needed help. And thus, Ursula gave – with her visits to the sick, with her commitment in the church community, to people in her circle of acquaintances who needed help.

Ursula had a very big heart and she was always helpful, and often it was with inconspicuous things, seemingly self-evident things like ironing for the family, sewing on buttons or taking care of some errands for someone.

Ursula’s day began early, and I have probably inherited from her the tendency to get up early. When during my visits in the last few years I came out of the bathroom  she prepared already something in the kitchen before she sat down in her room for her “holy hour” from half past five to half past six, meditating, reading, writing down her thoughts. From out of this time of contemplation, she drew strength for the tasks of everyday life before she went into the daily routine.

For many years, as long as her powers permitted, she drove to the public swimming pool early in the morning to make her rounds immediately after the doors were opened. My father took over from her this early morning exercise and he also started his day by going to the swimming pool.

After breakfast and household duties, she went for errands, for visits to the hospital, to women’s congregations or devotions. The regular church visits to the Mass and to devotions were important rhythms and cornerstones of her life.

Ursula was a person of action and not of many words, but she took part in what was happening in the world. She clearly adressed injustices, particularly discriminations and discriminatory attitudes towards women. It was something that I especially observed and appreciated in her older years.

Ursula had her attitudes and principles, but she did not impose them onto others. She was able to accept other opinions and ways of life without condemning, and she could give people space. She was open to our inner search and our experiments with life, even if they were not hers. As if from the background, she supported the family and thus, gave home, a home for our father, for us children, even for the grand-children. The house had open doors for the people who came.

With her passing, we feel even more clearly what she had given us, and it fills me with gratitude. Although we will miss her, I know from Ursula that it is not her wish to see us sad. It is not without reason that the tombstone of her parents, where she is buried, carries the symbol of the risen Christ, and Ursula also lived with the firm knowledge of the immortality of the soul. May this knowledge keep us connected with her.

To conclude, I would like to draw a small picture of her with a short poem for Ursula:

Remained at one place and still walked far
Lived with one man and yet loved much
Remained loyal to one path and yet open other ways
Having given space for being together
Given food, ground and support
Looked for the sky, but not far from the earth
Inconspicuously silent and yet great
A light, a tower, a rock
A heart, a depth, a sea
Woman, mother, and also child
Simply just simple, simple and one”

Ursula Philips, 3.3.1926 – 28.07.2005