Working out Thoughts
Yesterday evening I had a talk with my wife about subtle communication. I felt a bit empty or even irritated after having sent an e-mail to a friend, where I wasn’t sure if the thoughts would be received well. I also had re-written a letter in order to express thoughts more clearly, leaving away certain thoughts of the first letter.
My wife said that thoughts often get cleared through discussion, through talks, like we often have: “With certain people you can utter without problems your half-baked thoughts, while with others you don’t know what the other person can take. When writing a text, like for the Lunar Messenger, you enter into a dialog with the material and work out the thoughts, like with a heap of clay or a square block of a sculptor. You start forming it until it gets the right shape. It is similar when you play a song on the piano or work with an orchestra, where some instruments have to come to the fore and others have to stay back. What is important is the work with the from.
In relation with your friend you enter into a dialog in a chamber or your self which only you two have together, and this chamber up to now is still unknown, unfamiliar, new ground. There are things which you really have to explore. I know these situations where I know that there is something, but don’t know yet what it is. For your friend it is also difficult to orient in your chamber and to capture it, and it needs orientation like with you.
It takes you a lot of work to shape the texts of the Lunar Messenger, to work out the pearls. This is an artistic process, not just a working away of a heap, but a process of shaping. It is a very beautiful work, but it is also a work which attacks the nerves. This is how I feel it. There is the burning pulse of life. A friend of mine says: “You are leaving the comfort zone”, you aren’t at home, cannot relax, have to find it, bring it into life. It draws on your nerves. But this is also the sphere which takes you further. You are working on shifting a threshold, a border, in order to break open the Saturnian ring. This draws on your nerves, but also gives joy. Normally you only can afford it when the work is embedded in a stable context of life. You have to rest in yourself to be able to afford it. Otherwise it sweeps you off, even though it might be very beautiful.”
The response I got from my friend was full of a friendly understanding, and I felt that I also can share there thoughts in the process of clearing.
P.S.: A friend answered me about this post:
“I always carry with me the Mandra Scripture (An Aquarian Rendering of the Bhagavad Geeta, by Master EK). Today, I was re-reading Book XVIII – The Book of Liberation, from the Scripture. ‘And the Lord said, the need of Mendicancy and sacrifice if we want to be free. Mendicancy is giving up of actions that produce desires, and Sacrifice is the giving up of the results of all that we do.’
This I think relates to your nerves, because you still look for results in what you do, and this draws on your nerves. The one who relinquishes the results of his work, is the one who has really given up. This book, also gives the five causes of a deed. ( page 262) Because the fifth cause is the activity of the whole creation and it is an impersonal cause, the whole thing is only instrumental. Let not any cause start from you as motive an end in you as the ultimate result. Then the whole burden of work is placed upon something we call God. Now you are only a worker, and not a doer. Do no be the owner, but be a steward of all your activities.”
I answered her: “I have read with the head many times about release from the results of doing, read the Mandra scripture a number of times but haven’t yet achieved it. I feel it is also a question of ripening… I stopped trying to ‘play’ a spiritual concept, like I did for many years, when I realise the gap between myself (My Self) and the concept, even a spiritual one.”
And when talking with my wife, she added: In a creative process there is full focus, and out of this tension might arise. Even Masters, when fully concentrating on a task ahead, go through a process of utmost tension. This doesn’t have to be accompanied by looking for the results, but ignoring this is like ignoring the great bow of a creative manifestation in a work of art.
“Mogul emperor, Akbar, frequently summoned the court jester whenever he felt himself tense. Blessed are those who have a cheerful companion.” (Vaisakh Newsletter Capricorn 09)
Structure of the roof of a room in a friend’s house
