Last week I got an e-mail from an unknown couple living in the surroundings of Berne asking about the group activities we do with the Circle of Good Will. With the links in their e-mail, I saw that they were doing a lot of things, among others they are running a medieval laboratory and are doing alchemical work. They invited us for a visit and I thought, that sounds interesting. Besides, I am sorting out books which I don’t need any more and wanted to give away my Paracelsus books, and that seemed a good occasion.

They are living on a small farm in the countryside next to a place where I had been working 20 years ago. In the courtyard, there was a tent – they are going on medieval fairs presenting their activities and product. A cordial welcome, long talks – and then they showed us the medieval laboratory: They had renovated the basement and created in the vaults a meeting space and a laboratory for the alchemical work.

Now the room was lighted by electric bulbs but they were also using torches.

At first, I found it a bit amusing to thus “relive” times which have long passed. Of course there is a number of people playing medieval times, arranging market-places, tournaments, music festivals and the like. But here was something more. Morpheo, as he called himself, described how when doing his alchemical work is entering into some trance-like state where he is like in another dimension and in contact with a teacher who answers his questions and guides him in his work. He is preparing essences from trees, ointments and preparations which seem to have special effects. Though I didn’t try, there was a very special ambiance.

A corner of the alchemical laboratory

They are collecting herbs in the surroundings and cultivating some in a glasshouse. He is preparing himself the alcohol for the tinctures and has an intuitive approach to the work. I felt it to be true when he explained that he is tapping at knowledge from previous incarnations which often seems to be more than what is present in today’s awareness.

Morpheo was very happy about the collected writings of Paracelsus and other books that I gave him – and I was happy that I found someone to whom I could pass them on.

In October, my wife Cyrille was at a weekend seminar on Earth Energies with Janet Treloar, whom she came to know from a pre-course for a spiritual regression formation with Andy Tomlinson which she now is starting in GB. During the weekend Janet used an iPhone-app for aura-photography (saying that apps for Android etc. don’t give good results…).

Cyrille was curious (me too!) to do some experiments herself, and so she got the old iPhone from our youngest son Nikolas who installed the app (for less than 2 euros). However, Nikolas was sure, as well as his brother, that the app is creating just some “colour magic” and not making any subtle vibrations visible. Cyrille and I thought, let’s make some experiments. And though we don’t understand how the app really functions – it seems that it interprets the waves taken by the pics and renders them, sensing emotions and/or etheric forms –  and how to interpret the colours and forms which sometimes present in a seemingly random way but there are some astonishing effects.

Since some years, Cyrille is training her sensitivity and has been studying and practicing spirit release work. She took the camera and went on a walk in a nearby forest with a friend. There they did a number of shots. Her friend felt intuitively drawn to a certain area:

Both were surprised about this dark cloud. Cyrille sent some light in it, with little success, as the following pic shows. A dark spot remained.

Taken aback, they went closer. Cyrille felt her familiar shiver indicating some subtle presence. She guessed an earthbound being there. Together with her friend, they released it, invoking their souls and archangel Michael. After the work, but still feeling the presence of the light beings, the next pic was taken.

Cyrille’s experiments are inspired to a great degree by the very interesting book of Louise Ireland-Frey, MD: Freeing the Captives. I was thrilled to read it. Though it is of course a topic discussed controversially, we have seen impressive results ourselves when working with spirit release.

At another occasion two weeks ago, my wife did a remote spirit release work via Skype together with a friend, let’s call her Ann. Ann’s friend, let’s call her Marta, had submitted herself some days before into a psychiatric hospital due to a psychic crisis. Ann had the impression that there were dark energies around. Cyrille and Ann did a remote release for Marta. Cyrille felt that there was some dark energy around Marta, and before they started the work, she took the following picture of herself:

After the release work, the dark energy was gone. At the same evening, Marta quite of a sudden felt much better. The next morning she left the hospital. An accidental coincidence?

Cyrille noticed that the pics become clearer when she takes them with an inner focus. So for the next three pictures she invoked the devas of our garden and of two trees:

The deva of the old walnut tree

The deva of the oak tree

The deva of the garden

And here is a pic I took of myself when doing the first shots with the aura-app. There were pics of quite different colours and forms – as I said before, some seem to be random, others in tune with what we thought to correspond with the situation.

Last week I was in Baerenthal, the Vosges for the May Call Day celebration. Baerenthal (“bear valley”) is a little village in north-eastern France, situated in the natural park of the northern Vosges. And the May Call Day is a festival of group initiation started by Master CVV in 1910 and now celebrated in many parts of the world. It is for receiving and expressing the energies of synthesis.
The last 25 years the May Call Day had been celebrated in the West. This year Sri Kumar celebrated it in Bangalore, India, and many group members, who couldn’t join, came together for local or regional celebrations, or joined the online transmissions.

We met already on Sunday in the house of Martine for the final preparations. From Monday afternoon till Thursday there was the group living in the Youth Centre for French-German friendship. The weeks before, Doris, Günter, Martine and me had prepared the program and discussed the organisation. Now, 20-26 group members from France, Germany and Switzerland were coming for this seminar. After some rainy days, even the sun was coming out to give a warm welcome.

I was inspired for this pic of the violet rhododendron flower in front of the house of Martine by some lines Sri Kumar spoke about Master CVV at last year’s May Call celebration in Flüeli-Ranft, Switzerland:

“CVV stands for Cosmic Violet Vibration, it is the way of the cosmic system. The 7th ray on the planet is violet, represented by the most sublime and noblest Master, Master Count Saint Germain. From cosmic vibration of violet to planetary vibration of violet a channel has been established by the great initiate coming from Master Jupiter’s ashram. Master Jupiter is known in the oriental scriptures as the great sage Agastya. The advent of the cosmic violet vibration was as per the plan to lift up humanity. The lift up is something when humanity can experience within him and around him the beauty of the kingdom of God. From the Avatar of Synthesis who is around, may the energy pour down in all kingdoms of nature.”

The house in Baerenthal

Buddha meditating in front of the house

Writing e-mails at the breakfast table

Martine had organised the seminar in the Youth Centre for French-German friendship. It was founded in the 60s and is dedicated to the furtherance of mutual understanding. We shared the centre with 2 school classes and a group of future midwives – a good surrounding: the ones preparing the entrance of souls into the body, the others, growing up, and our group, for the growth of awareness. It was a very friendly get-together.

In the dining-hall of the centre

The group living started with a reception in the garden of Martine’s house. It already set the tone of the meeting: joyful sharing.

We returned to the centre for evening meditation. And a special surprise was waiting outside: Around sun-set time the children of one of the classes were playing outside with a huge parachute cloth a colourful team game. And they spontaneously invited some of our group members to join them, to lie under the parachute:

The Youth Centre, surrounded by forests

In the evening we gathered again in the hall for a water ritual conducted by Doris:

On Tuesday we had exchanges and group study. In the afternoon Thot, a French astrologer who had come from the Pyrenees, gave a very interesting explanation of the astrological charts of Europe and of France and the relation to Germany. He showed that though Europe is going through tense times, an upliftment is to be expected from the next year on, as evidenced by the progressive chart.

Thot and Martine

Explaining the chart of Europe

Wednesday morning we started the May Call Day celebration with a fire ritual. It had rained all night long, but stopped in the morning. However, it was quite fresh when we started around 6 o’clock.

After breakfast we met for the seminar, starting with a candle-light ceremony.

The candles in front of the hall, with the painting “Lifting up the Earth to the Kings of Beauty”.

A candle was lit at the candle in the centre and the light was shared with all. Then the candle were put on the table at the centre.

Afterwards Doris and Günter conducted a little cake-cutting ceremony. I was reminded of the words of Sri Kumar from last year, that cutting a cake is like the sacrifice of Purusha, the Cosmic Person, representing the Oneness, which is sacrificing itself to form creation.

Different gifts prepared by members were shared afterwards

In the afternoon there was the launch of my new book on “Paintings”. It was a great moment for me. I tried to share the process of inner image building with the group with a little experiment: I read some passages from “Spiritual Astrology” by Master EK, with music of Davide Swarup, which I always hear while painting. Then we spoke about the inner images arising through the text, and I explained with the help of some of my paintings how the creative process developed.

The new books at the altar

In the evening we had another talk by Thot on the energies of the May Call day, 29 May 13. The time flew by fast, and Thursday at noon, after meditations and further exchanges, it was time to return home, filled with the lightful, electric energies of this beautiful celebration.

A rainbow over the valley. On the left at the bottom, the assembly hall

In 1910 Master CVV received a tremendous cosmic energy called the Energy of Synthesis. He anchored it in the ethers of the planet and started distributing it on 29 May. Since then every 29 May is celebrated as the Master May Call Day. And since 1998 I have participated in these celebrations – mostly larger gatherings in the West with Dr. K. Parvathi Kumar. This year the big group meeting with him is in Bangalore. Together with some friends we organised a small meeting in the French Vosges, where I’m at the moment.

For me it is a special occasion, for there will be also the launch of my book “Paintings”. I realised it as a photo book (English an German version, hard-cover, 200 pages), which I can produce as print on demand, if people want to have it. But I also distribute it for free in PDF-version.
The book contains my “Early Paintings” (done in the 80s and nearly completely “dissolved” in 1997, now digitally restored from photos) and the “Images of Synthesis“, done since 2009, together 212 paintings. I added some biographical notes and background explanations.

The “Early Paintings” were the creative output of a tremendous fiery experience I had in 1981. Many of these paintings are related to this inner opening which lasted several days. For me, the paintings are an expression of the Energies of Synthesis, even those created before the time I consciously knew about the energies. You will understand when you see the pictures. The book is available for download in English and German, its content is part of a website to be released soon.

Today at spring equinox I publish a book of poems (in German) called  “Schattierungen von Dus” (Shades of Yous). I wrote the 90 + 2 poems in June-October 2009. Now, 3.5  years later, they come out as a digital work. Each of the poems is illustrated by a photo illustrating the tonality of the content and some of the motives. To give you a vague idea of the poems, here is a PDF with an effort to translate some of the poems. And here you can download the German book as a powerpoint (9 MB) or as a PDF (10.6 MB, with Acrobat Reader bookmarks to each of the poems) to see at least the numerous photos (please download the PDF, in my PDF online-viewer the colours of the photos are bad). Most of them I shot myself, many were given by friends.

It was quite some work to edit the volume and I’m very happy that it is now ready. The poems speak about the reverberation of encounters, of wounds and their healing, of the dangers of the path and the surprises everyday life brings. To my surprise I noted that the “Schattierungen von Dus” appeared exactly 33 years after my first volume of poems, the “Gesang der Stille” (or as PDF) (Song of Silence), which I wrote in Aries 1980 and published end of that year, together with illustrations I did for the poems. Some of the motives of the new poems already were there in the old ones.

Enjoy reading / viewing.

10 days ago I found 11 pictures of my “Early Paintings” which weren’t published hitherto – and this blogpost is the first time they are shown in public after 32 years. They were among a collection of slides done from the original paintings in the early 1980ie. I found them because I’m preparing all my images and poems for a new website just dedicated to them. I took photographs of the slides and thus reconstructed the original pictures.

Though the quality isn’t superb (I didn’t want to buy a slide scanner just for these slides) I was very happy that I could rescue them this way and bring them back to manifestation. I give them here with the titles they now have in the order for the new website; partly there were titles and dates written on the border of the slides. I wrote explanatory comments and added quotations from Vol. III of the Secret Doctrine, by H. P. Blavatsky.

I wouldn’t have dared to show the pictures to a larger public 30 year ago, but now it seems to be the right time. This presentation is just a preview – the right place will be the website which will be launched in a few months.

Photographing the slides in the hazy light of morning fog

Sons of Light 7 – Fiery Metamorphosis
24 October 1981, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

At this time I was discovering the existence of the Cosmic Christ in relation to the individuality of Jesus Christ. This painting expresses the release of energy which happened through the transformation Jesus Christ underwent through the crucifixion manifesting most sublime energies onto the physical. The cross, symbol of his initiation, is in connection with the fiery world, and through his body there is an inpour of light. The elements are in a state of turmoil and the forms, the imprisoned souls, are waiting for their release.

“From the beginning of Humanity the Cross, or Man, with his arms stretched out horizontally, typifying his kosmic origin, was connected with his psychic nature and with the struggles which lead to Initiation.” Secret Doctrine III

Sons of Light 6 – Apparition
24 October 1981, a 4, liquid glazing paint and white covering colour on paper

In this painting I tried to express an inner vision or feeling of the existence of sublime beings which at times give us their presence. This was the only painting where I used white covering colour. The luminosity wasn’t satisfactory and I saw that representing details of shades of white weren’t as I felt they should be expressed on paper. Nearly 32 years later, when restoring the painting from a slide, I enjoyed the subtlety of the colour nuances which are vaguely expressed on the print-out.
This painting is kindred with the picture “Manifestation”.

Divine Mother 6
28 October 1981, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

This picture shows the return of the souls into the arms of the Great Mother.

Sons of Light 7 – Triumph
08 November 1981, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

This painting shows the final victory of Jesus Christ over the death of the physical body creating a tremendous release of light.

“The words “My God, my Sun, thou hast poured thy radiance upon me,” were the final words that concluded the thanksgiving prayer of the Initiate, “the Son and the glorified Elect of the Sun.” They were pronounced after the terrible trials of Initiation, and were still fresh in the memory of some of the “Fathers” when the Gospel of Matthew was edited into the Greek language.” Secret Doctrine III

Divine Mother 7 – The Family
12 December 1981, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

The painting shows Jesus together with Mary and Joseph, as the representants of the Holy Family in fiery flames

Spiritual Hierarchy 7 – Towers of Light
31 December 1981, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

This picture is a symbolic representation of the Spiritual Hierarchy as towers of light for humanity.

“White is the absence of all colours, and therefore no colour; black is simply the absence of light, and therefore the negative aspect of white. The seven prismatic colours are direct emanations from the Seven Hierarchies of Being, each of which has a direct bearing upon and relation to one of the human principles, since each of these Hierarchies is, in fact, the creator and source of the corresponding human principle. Each prismatic colour is called in Occultism the “Father of Sound” which corresponds to it; Sound being the Word, or the Logos, of its Father-Thought.” Secret Doctrine III

Transition
16 January 1982, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

I was fascinated by the etheric structure of the pyramid and the double pyramid manifesting in space. For me it was like a portal into another dimension, and at the same time a basic brick of the manifestation of the cosmos. In India the double pyramid is considered as a form of the Lingam of Lord Shiva, and, when visualised around oneself, as a structure of protection.

“The Infinite Unity, or Ain-Suph, is ever placed outside human thought and appreciation; and in Sepher Jetzirah we see the Spirit of God – the Logos, not the Deity itself – One is the Spirit of the Living God . . Who liveth forever. Voice, Spirit, [of the spirit], and Word: this is the Holy Spirit, [ Mishna, i. 9.] Three-in-one and Four and the Quaternary. From this Cube emanates the whole Kosmos. Says the Secret Doctrine: «It is called to life. The mystic Cube in which rests the Creative Idea, the manifesting Mantra [or articulate speech – Vâch] and the holy Pûrusha [both radiations of prima material] exist in the Eternity in the Divine Substance in their latent state» – during Pralaya.” Secret Doctrine III

Emanation
18 January 1982, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

This painting tries to illustrate how from the Eternal One, which opens like an eye from the beyond, the creation manifest. The down-pouring flames emanate the forms, the quaterary, the pyramid. At the time of painting I hadn’t yet studied the Secret Doctrine, but much later found the parallels.

“It is in the quaternary that the first solid figure is found, the universal symbol of immortality, the Pyramid, ‘whose first syllable means fire.’ “ Secret Doctrine III

Divine Eye 4
July 1982, A 4, liquid glazing paint and fast glue on paper

This painting visualises the Divine Eye as a portal to enter into the subtle spheres and the path which leads into the light. It is surrounded by three eyes representing the three aspects of the Divine – Will, Love and Light. The sperm-like forms in the periphery of the circle represent the souls which have taken through the portal and now are in the Light.

“The Pineal Gland is that which the Eastern Occultist calls Devâksha, the “Divine Eye.” To this day, it is the chief organ of spirituality in the human brain, the seat of genius, the magical Sesame uttered by the purified will of the Mystic, which opens all the avenues of truth for him who knows how to use it.” Secret Doctrine III

Worlds of Light 13 – Flames of Light
July 1982, A 4, liquid glazing paint and fast glue on paper

The image visualises the divine spark, the divine ego, surrounded by the flames from the One Flame.

“The essence of the Divine Ego is ‘pure flame,’ an entity to which nothing can be added and from which nothing can be taken: it cannot, therefore, be diminished, even by countless numbers of lower minds, detached from it like flames from a flame.” Secret Doctrine III

Sons of Light 9 – Self-Giving
10 December 1982, A 4, liquid glazing paint on paper

The painting shows the self-giving of the lower to the higher self, of the personality to the Divine.

“The ‘harvest of life’ consists of the finest spiritual thoughts, of the memory or the noblest and most unselfish deeds of the personality, and the constant presence during its bliss after death of all those it loved with divine, spiritual devotion. Remember the teaching: The Human Soul, lower Manas, is the only and direct mediator between the personality and the Divine Ego.” Secret Doctrine III

Going away from my profession was and is a profound spiritual lesson and experience for me. It is a kind of experiment in letting go and being joyful in the heart, without any resentment. I had been been intensely working on this during the last months, also together with my wife, and this in several ways. Besides the inner meditative and energetic work there were some other experimental dimensions in letting go and de-blocking  energies:

We did an inner cleaning work with detoxification by means of a liver and gallbladder flush as recommended in a book by Andreas Moritz and a colon cleansing; we did it several times with astonishing results and it increased the vitality.

In May a good friend sent me a PDF of a book by Michael Newton, an American psychiatrist who has developed a lives between lives hypnotherapy.  With deep interest I read this summer 2 of his works, Journeys of Souls and Destiny of Souls. These books on  spiritual regression, written in a research-oriented attitude, left a profound impact on me. They opened and deepened very much my understanding of the pre-incarnation periods. And so I became curious to go myself into an experience. For years I had a sceptical attitude towards regression and would not have dared to do such a work.

Via the website of Michael Newton I found a French / American therapist, Dr. Dominique Glaub,  and asked her when she would be in Switzerland. She replied, in November, but that she also works via Skype. I decided to try it, and to my astonishment this goes very well. Experiences with several old topics came to the surface and steps of a transformation showed up. So I decided to do a series of sessions over 6 months.

Dominique is now in Europe for 3 weeks and my wife and I met her for a session last Tuesday in Montreux at the Lake of Geneva.

On the highway – reflections of the Lake greeted us through the bushes.

We parked in the Casino parking and to our surprise came out in the gambling hall – what experience were awaiting us?

The hotel where Dominique stayed was near the lake. Since we were a bit early we had a little walk.

The regression led me deeper and deeper; she guided me through scenes of peaceful nature to a door and made me write a word on it. The door opened and I was inside.

An impression of a female figure clad in long brocade-like clothes came up, but dissolved again. For a while I was like hanging in space, no other images came. Then my body had little jerks and a feeling and images came: I was running down a rugged hill-path with rocks along the way. I felt persecuted by a man and tried to escape. He was faster, for he was riding on a horse, coming nearer and nearer. He held a lance in his hand, made me stop and shouted at me full of fierce rage. Then he pierced me with his lance, smashing it into my body. He obviously enjoyed killing me – I didn’t know why. I was covered all over with blood and then came out of the body, observing the scene from above, relaxed.

Dominique made me go back to the moment of being killed and asked about my emotions. I was full of anxiety, being locked down to the ground, helpless, powerless.

Then Dominique made me bi-locate into the person on the horse and describe his feelings. He was very angry with the other person on the ground, he was convinced that he had a right to kill him and did it with a grim joy, triumphant.

I was led back to the early childhood of this rider, to experience from where all started: Images came. He was playing with a ball and it was taken away by a stronger one. He felt powerless and suppressed his anger. This feeling of being powerless and the suppressed anger connect this young boy with the elder victim. Now the grown-up boy was in the position of the vanquisher, the stronger one, and he enjoyed his power.

Asked what is the connection with my present life situation I answered I experienced powerlessness and a feeling of injustice when I got my notice of termination, and my boss was in the power-position. I understood the message and decided to go away in peace, leaving the learnings of my boss to himself. I wanted to go with a firm stand, look into his eyes and tell him that I feel no resentment nor anger against him – and then to go my way, unhurt and with dignity.

This I did on the 15th, at the exit interview. When he proposed to have a view back on the last year, I didn’t go into the past but told him that I have a present for him, a card of my paintings. He was surprised, chose one and put it on his shelf in the office. I went out in peace and joy.

This was a direct result of the regression experience. For me it doesn’t matter whether it is “past life” or creative imagining. I didn’t make any direct connection between the persons in the inner journey and any outer ones. Like with the previous regressions the one in Montreux gave me a profound relief and transformation.

While my wife was doing her session, I went along the Lake of Geneva. It was a beautiful autumn evening light. While it was getting dark I sat on a bench, taking notes of my experiences. And later we sat in a Pizzeria, exchanging, before we drove back through the night.

Last sunrays over the Dents du Midi mountains in the background of the lake in blue evening light.

Nightfall at the lake

In the last weeks several friends asked me when I would do an exposition with my paintings. I replied, “I’m not ready yet, they have to be in another format and way of presentation.” But their asking made me start searching for a solution.

The “original version” of the paintings is a digital version, result of digital and analogous work. I saw on the web an interesting method of mounting pictures on aluminium dibond. So I ordered picture enlargements with direct print on aluminium and with photo paper foils on aluminium. Though the pictures were well produced, I wasn’t happy with the luminosity of the images. They looked either blurred or the colours like dark blue didn’t show up well.

Two of the pictures of the first experiments this morning in our garden – the colours didn’t give the right brilliance.

I knew from previous experiments when I sent the pictures to a photo laboratory that a brilliant reproduction isn’t that easy – the quality wasn’t satisfying me. So I normally use an ink-jet printer and do the printout on photo paper – there the quality is excellent. But the maximum size I can to is A 4.

I asked a print specialist at my office and he recommended me a specialised print shop in Berne.

2 weeks ago I went there, explained the problems and showed to the print counsellor the ink-jet results. He told me that these computer printers work with a RGB colour space, but that they use CMWK colours and that it isn’t easy to find the right tones. I decided to get a sample printed on foil in A 3 so that we can see how to further proceed.

When last week I saw the result I wasn’t satisfied: The image turned out to be too green and the tones of orange and yellow didn’t show up well. The counsellor proposed to do adaptations with the help of the foil and the ink-jet image to find the right tone. I said I wanted a mounted A 2-version to be able to better judge the quality and not to have to do too many costly experiments – some hundred francs had already gone in these test-prints.

The picture on the foil between autumn leaves in our garden

When I yesterday saw the mounted picture the colours finally were in the right tone and luminosity. I felt relieved for the further production. But when I looked over the picture I saw irregularities of the mounting and the way they had done the suspension. So again another round…

He proposed to do a printout on foil of all my (newer) paintings, the Images of Synthesis, in a small format on a long foil. So we would be able to find the optimum general colour settings for all of them – otherwise it would be very costly to do it all individually. This will be done till end of next week – and hopefully the production can start.

I’m very fascinated by the impact of these large-size works – but after production I’ll have to find a storing solution for them.

Another experiment with the paintings was the “by-product” of quite another situation:

I was curious how viewers with a non-spiritual background would react on the pictures. In the 80ies I had experienced an irritation and a lack of comprehension when I showed the pictures which I later destroyed and now have digitally restored from photos.
When showing my newer paintings to friends they said that they needed my explanation of the symbolism expressed. My language of symbols of a “fusion of east and west” didn’t reveal itself to the onlookers.
I started calling the paintings “inside-out, outside-in, east and west” and wrote comments on how they came about. They are not only influenced by my spiritual backgrounds, but also by the long inter-cultural work and my journeys.
I got very positive feedbacks mainly via the web, but I didn’t show them yet physically to a general public. An English woman wrote to me this week, “I really cannot impress upon you how beautiful I find your artwork. Your images are imbued with light and a certain sacredness that pierces the heart.”

Since I had received a cancellation notice of my job at the Red Cross due to restructuring and yesterday left the office after precisely 260 months of work there, I didn’t want to go away with any resentment but joyfully and upright.

So I celebrated my going away by personally saying good-by to many old colleagues. I used it at the same time as a “coming out” with my paintings. I had prepared a selection of images which are more easily understandable as cards and let them chose one as a good-bye present. Neither me nor they did know at that time that it also was an experiment – I only realised it this morning:

It was very interesting for me to observe the reactions. I distributed cards to 58 persons. Only one did not want any, with a few I felt that they had to open for a new way of expression uncommon to them. Most of them didn’t know of the eastern symbols like Lakshmi, Krishna or Kuan Yin. Many said that they hadn’t seen such images before nor this kind of technique of a cross-over of analogous and digital painting. Many were deeply touched – and it was always a good turn-around of the normally gloomy good-bye moment.
Even with my superior, who had given me the notice of termination it turned out to be a very good experience. I had done an intense inner preparation work for this. He was positively surprised when he saw the cards. He chose one and put it on his shelf in the office.  I left light-heartedly not only from this final talk, but also from the office.

So the experiment turned out to be successful. Now I’m looking forward how the production of the mounted images will work and where and how a first exposition will take place.

The image experiments placed this morning in the garden. You cannot judge the colours by the photo

12 August is the 181st birthday of Helena P. Blavatsky and a good occasion to write some lines, especially about my experiences with her opus magnum.

It took a long time for the Secret Doctrine to get into my life. It must have been around the end of 1973 that for the first time I saw the volumes on the bookshelf of an acquaintance who for two decades played a strange role in my life. He told me that they contain very profound wisdom, but it is difficult to unlock. With a frisson of awe and at the same time a sceptical distance I looked at the books. Over the years I saw them again each time I met this peculiar friend. In 1982 he tried to “initiate” me into secrets of the teachings, but I refused – the time wasn’t ripe yet.

In 1986 I started teaching languages in a Rudolf Steiner school, and there were annual Christmas bazaars. At the bazaar there was an antiquarian bookshop, and there I saw again the black volumes – 6 big books including the index. I wanted to buy them, but didn’t dare – I didn’t want that the other teachers in the school knew about my interest. Next year, the books were still there, and again I didn’t dare. The same the following year.

In 1989 my mother-in-law was also at the bazaar, and I asked her if she could buy the books for me, which she did. So I got “my” volumes, put them on the bookshelf – but still couldn’t start reading. I had read about the importance of these teachings in the books of Alice Bailey – but they kept closed. I read great amounts of other books, I felt the thrill of these black volumes which I sometimes opened, but still I couldn’t start reading them.

In the beginning of the 90ies finally the time approached. I set up a daily discipline of reading 2 pages and making synopses which I later typed down. In about 2.5 years I had finished reading them, had tried to understand what I had read, but many things I didn’t get. I read my abstracts, got a vague idea of the topics. In the later 90ies I set out for a second march through the books, with the same method – and a little more understanding grew.

Around 1994 I read a number of biographies about H.P.B. and thought, some movie director should make a film about this extraordinary women. I wrote an article about her life and send it to two film makers, but without any reply. Later, in 2005, I made a little booklet from this script – “H.P.B. – Trailblazer for the Aquarian Age” and put it online. In 1995 I was at a spiritual conference in Santa Fe and saw there the biography of H.P.B. by Sylvia Cranston, which just had appeared, and “devoured” it. With the time I discovered there were more and more materials online. But at the same time a lot of “dust” and delusion.

On June 27th, 2004, at a meeting of the Executive Board of WTT-Global (at that time WTT-Europe), Sri Kumar gave us some hints how to study Secret Doctrine in a group. He recommended:
–    Start studying the “Laws” given in Secret Doctrine, the law of alternation, periodicity, time cycles….
–    Then study the Races / Root Races
–    Then the Manus
–    Then the Globe Chains
–    Then read “Anthropogenesis”, till the end of the book
–    Then “Cosmogenesis”
Thus you will have a sound foundation of the Secret Doctrine.

In our local group we started reading like this, everything about the laws, the races, and then decided to go through “Anthropogenesis” – where we still are. We meet every Sunday and read, after morning meditation and a short fire ritual, just for 30-40 minutes. Slowly a deeper understanding dawns. I read the books in English, the others in German – and sometimes we see that the translation was unclear or even irritating. Though it seems to be “a long march” the three of us who come together want to stick to it. And I read some pages every Saturday morning in the 3rd volume published by A. Besant, which isn’t counted among the “orthodox” 2 volumes.

It was fascinating for me when in January 2005 Sri Kumar gave a 2 weeks’ seminar about the Secret Doctrine, and I often came back to my notes. It was a grand panorama and a deep explanation of the interrelations.

I have gone through so many books in my life, studied so many eastern and western philosophies, but there isn’t any book which has left such a lasting imprint, though I don’t dare to say that I have fathomed the depths of the teachings.

I have seen that there are now videos and presentations on YouTube about her life. For me, however, it is more an inner “film” which stirred me and gave keys to a deeper understanding.

The black (German) and white (English) books in the bookshelf

Video: Who are you Madam Blavatsky?

Changes are natural for life – many we don’t notice, some come as thresholds and some bring new directions in a drastic way. This year there were a number of challenging situations of  transformation where I was / am learning to go through in balance – surgery, friendships, job – without clinging to something  when its time is over. A little observation:

Cars get older, and ours got a gearbox malfunction after nearly 200 000 km. A repair would have been too costly. Yesterday we got a new car and gave the old one away.  A change without pain. Leaving the old vehicle to take the new one is like changing bodies: We depart from the old body with its malfunctions to get into another one. We continue to exist as solar principles or “the soul”. When we identify with the body, we “lose” our existence at death. When we maintain continuity of identity we will be able to consciously withdraw and enter into the next body, realizing that we live eternally. This is the main purpose of spiritual exercises. Have a look at the book “Venus – The Path to Immortality” by Sri K. Parvathi Kumar. The fundamental wisdom teaching in the present time is to realise that there is no such thing as death.

I’m reading at the moment two books of Michael Newton (Journey of Souls / Destiny of Souls), a hypnotherapist who over more than 35 years has done clinical research and practice about regression into prior lives and especially into episodes taking place between them, such as spiritual progress reviews and the planning of future incarnations. Quote Wikipedia: “Newton describes that during their continuous visits, a great number of his patients regressed beyond this life and passed through the spirit worlds; through ongoing age regression sessions, these subjects have recalled and revealed their past life experiences and their journey through the spirit world.”

For me it is fascinating to read these detailed descriptions which substantiate the wisdom teachings and give an understanding for many twists in destiny. For more information see the website of The Newton Institute for Life between Lives  Hypnotherapy.

The reincarnation of our car