Validating Experiences
My wife yesterday told again an event she had some weeks ago:
In June she was in Munich at a seminar about Radical Foregiveness with Colin Tipping. She took the “direct train” back via Zurich. However, there were railroad works near the Lake of Constance, and they had to change to a regional train and then to another train.
It was a hot day and when they had to leave the intercity train she saw a couple clad in black clothes, tattooed, both very obese and carrying big suitcases. Then man panted. A voice from the load-speakers said in a sharp voice: “Please hurry up to the other platform, the train is leaving soon. … Please hurry up….”
The man was furious: “Incredible, we have paid 200 Euros and this is such a bad service.” They had to cross the railways and walk on the other platform to the regional train. The voice from the loudspeaker kept on reminding, “Please hurry up, the train is leaving soon.” My wife entered the wagon together with the couple. The places were all occupied and so they remained standing at the entrance. She saw that the man was boiling inwardly. For a moment she reflected whether she should talk to the man or not. Then she said, “Inefficiency makes you angry, yes?”
The man looked incredulously and said: “Yes! At my work I cannot be so inefficient, we have to be very precise…” – And that is injust.” – Again he looked astonished: “Yes!”
His girlfriend looked at my wife and just said, “Validating?”. My wife, “Yes.” – Are you working in a care profession?” – “No, I’m becoming a coach.” “Ah!” Later they changed again the train to the next intercity. My wife helped to carry the luggage of the man who had calmed down, and later they sait not far from each other and exchanged some more words.
My wife explained that giving space to another person without trying to solve his problem, just giving presence, helps very much to comeinto contact with oneself.
A fairy bringing light – a candelabra in the house of our friends
July 12th, 2011 at 5:48 pm
How nice and how true!